Do you struggle to say no when someone asks you for a favor?  Do you feel obligated to do many of the things you’re doing in your life?  Do you resent it when you’ve done for someone and they don’t do back for you?  This vicious cycle is one many women get into because they fear something bad will happen if they say no.  Some of the worst case scenarios I hear are:  “they’ll be mad at me”, “If I don’t, I’m not being a good friend”, “That would be rude.”  Well, those things are not even true when communication is effective, but the bottom line is you’re being rude to yourself if you’re doing things out of guilt or obligation.

The world needs positive role models for self care more than the people in your life need a favor done here and there.  I found when I started saying no because it wasn’t right for me at the time, I was offered more opportunities later that were a much better fit for me.  I found when I was honest with people they were more honest with me.  It was a win win.

Commit today to not saying yes because you think you have to.  Commit today to being a beacon of light that people are drawn to because you’re well rested, you’re energetic, and you’re excited about your life.  People should not be mad at you if you’re honest about wanting to respect your own personal limits.  They may be disappointed that they couldn’t pawn that job off on you, but they will move on, and likely respect you more for it in the end.

This isn’t to say don’t do things for people and walk around with a snotty look on your face.  Heck no!  This is about giving your time and money and anything else you have to give on your terms.  You won’t expect things in return and you will relish in the joy of giving as it’s meant to be.  Giving is not supposed to be an obligation.  Giving is not supposed to be a duty.  Say yes when you can and if you want to.  Offer when you’re not even asked.  If you must decline do so with respect and don’t feel “obligated” to give excuses.  Everyone knows they are excuses and you risk sending the message “hey, I don’t have a backbone.”   When in doubt, be honest, polite, and trust your gut.

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