As I reflect on my experiences and personal development over the course of 2009, it dawned on me I’ve been using a different approach to achievement that allowed me to experience goal setting in a new way. I’ve always considered myself to be a very driven and goal oriented person, but if I didn’t reach exactly what I thought I should or could, I would often catch myself chalking it up as a failure.

It took me a long time to realize that emphasizing numbers or time frames on goals can often be more harmful than helpful. Think of the last time you said to yourself you wanted to achieve ____________by ________________, and when you didn’t you gave up. So often growth or learning that could have occurred from an experience nearly disappears when certain numbers or expectations are not achieved. This is not what life is about. We’re often missing the point.

Wouldn’t you rather embrace a plan you know you can control? That doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook or saying “well I tried” or “I did my best”. I personally think those are excuses, and I’ve used those many times in my own life over the years that’s for sure. However, being proactive and recognizing that plans and circumstances change is just a part of life. This may mean that goals may need to shift, but the focus can remain the same.

In an effort to continue my success, I plan to commit to the process of DARE in 2010. I encourage you to join me in this process if you are tired of setting New Years resolutions going full force all to lose steam in a few weeks. This is a habit that can be practiced repeatedly until it becomes second nature. We all know that any change has to become part of our lifestyle versus just what we identify as a goal, which is why goals often don’t stick. Take a moment to consider what wholeheartedly incorporating DARE into your lifestyle could actually do for you on a daily basis.

D: Dream. Throughout my career in the helping profession, I have learned in various models of treatment, or any process of change, it always starts in our minds. So often we let go of our dreams and settle for what’s there, what’s easy, or what’s good enough. Envision the life you want and start living it in your mind. Imagine what it would feel like to have those dreams become your reality. Dream big. Amazing things are possible with great ideas. Do this especially on down days to remind yourself what it is you’re working towards in order to stay motivated.

A: Act. An essential piece to being successful or making change is action. If you do nothing about your dreams and choose to keep them in your mind, there is no possibility of them ever coming true. Again, it’s not about shooting for a certain outcome in particular, it’s about always moving in the direction of your dreams and being open to new opportunities as they present themselves. It’s essential to act everyday, no matter how big or small, with a clear intention. This is sure to get you closer to where you’re meant to be.

R: Rejoice. Do this from the depths of your soul. I specifically chose this word to serve as a reminder of at what level we should be grateful. Think about it, do you just want to be mildly grateful or do you want to be someone who rejoices and appreciates the wonderful things in their life? Most of us want that level of excitement or appreciation, but don’t know how to find it. It starts with rejoicing. Be excited about your life.

E: Experience. Lastly, experience your life. Do not be a “someday I’ll” or “one day I’ll” person. Commit to everyday from here on out being excited about what you have now. Take a moment to be mindful in every moment. Don’t move through life on autopilot. Breathe it in, soak it up, relish in it now. Whether you like it or not, what we have and what we know for sure is what we have right now. Don’t get too stuck in the past or the future and miss out on NOW.

If you’re ready for real success, I invite you to DARE with me in 2010.

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