4 Steps to Reaching Your Goals in 2012 – DARE
January 11, 2010 by admin
Filed under Tips for D.I.V.A.S
Each year I reflect on my experiences and personal development and I discovered a couple years ago I was using a different approach to achievement that allowed me to experience goal setting in a new way. I’ve always considered myself to be a very driven and goal oriented person, but if I didn’t reach exactly what I thought I should or could, I would often catch myself chalking it up as a failure. I’ve become a little more open minded since then. I invite you to join me.
It took me a long time to realize that emphasizing numbers or time frames on goals can often be more harmful than helpful. Think of the last time you said to yourself you wanted to achieve ____________by ________________, and when you didn’t you gave up or were really hard on yourself. So often growth or learning that could have occurred from an experience nearly disappears when certain numbers or expectations are not achieved. I’ve concluded we’re sometimes missing the big picture.
Are you willing to embrace a plan you know you can control? So much of what happens to us is out of our control yet we’re so quick to hold ourselves responsible and beat ourselves up when things don’t go “as planned”. Should we be prepared? Absolutely!! Should we be proactive? Most definitely!! Being proactive and recognizing that plans and circumstances change is simply just a part of life. This may mean that our goals need to shift, but the focus can remain the same.
This acronym helps puts things into perspective. I invite you to look at what you accomplished this past year and what you’d like to accomplish in the upcoming year and consider where things might be better than what you thought.
D: Dream. Throughout my career in the helping profession, I have learned in various models of treatment, or any process of change, it always starts in our minds. So often we let go of our dreams and settle for what’s there, what’s easy, or what’s good enough. Instead, envision the life you want and start living it in your mind. Imagine what it would feel like to have those dreams become your reality. Dream big. Amazing things are possible with great ideas. Do this especially on down days to remind yourself what it is you’re working towards in order to stay motivated. Just remember no dream is too big, and no dream is too small. Even the small dreams we have for our lives when achieved can make a HUGE impact.
A: Act. An essential piece to being successful or making change is action. If you do nothing about your dreams and choose to keep them in your mind, there is no possibility of them ever coming true. Again, it’s not about shooting for a certain outcome in particular, it’s about always moving in the direction of your dreams and being open to new opportunities as they present themselves. It’s essential to act everyday, no matter how big or small, with a clear intention. This is sure to get you closer to where you’re meant to be.
R: Rejoice. Do this from the depths of your soul. I specifically chose this word to serve as a reminder of at what level we should be grateful. Think about it, do you just want to be mildly grateful or do you want to be someone who rejoices and appreciates the wonderful things in their life? Most of us want that level of excitement or appreciation, but don’t know how to find it. It starts with rejoicing. Be excited about your life.
E: Experience. Lastly, experience life. Don’t be a “someday I’ll” or “one day I’ll” person. Commit to everyday from here on out being excited about what you have now and taking advantage of opportunities. Take time to be mindful in every moment. Don’t move through life on autopilot. Breathe it in, soak it up, relish in it now. Whether you like it or not, what we have and what we know for sure is what we have right now. Don’t get too stuck in the past or the future and miss out on NOW.
Trust me, as a recovering perfectionist, I’ve struggled with living in the moment. This past year, I did many things imperfectly and have many more results than I would have had I have waited!!
If you’re ready for real success, I invite you to DARE with us in 2012 DIVAS with DRIVE Kickstart group.
Organic – A New Way to Remember What’s Important
January 6, 2010 by admin
Filed under Tips for D.I.V.A.S
If you look up the definition of organic you’ll see several definitions, but the one that stands out most to me from yahoo dictionary online is: simple healthful and close to nature. Do you notice organic and organize share the same root? Do you notice that when it comes down to the bare basics of organizing we’re talking about the very same concepts as living organically by eliminating things that are unnecessary?
The purpose of organizing your household is to live as simply as possible so you can enjoy your life at a much greater level. Those who have systems in place to make their lives easier, are recognizing the value of going back to the basics just as we have in recent years with the movement to go green and buy organic to benefit our health and environment. We often make things more complicated than they need to be, and we do so in almost every aspect of our lives these days. Why did we ever think we needed to add excess gunk into food while stripping away the good stuff? Why did we ever move away from eating food in their raw most nutrient rich form? When did we decide we needed so much stuff to make us happier and supposedly make our lives more convenient? Not all advancements in life have been in our best interest.
When it comes to making decisions, think about what really is making your life more convenient and healthy, and ditch the other stuff that isn’t. When in doubt, keep things as simple as possible and stick to the basics. Think about ways to keep your life simple in order to keep yourself sane. Use the below reminders to help you stay on track with the things that are important, and commit to living organically in every area of your life.
O: Open
Think of fresh wide open spaces where you can take a deep breath and enjoy your space. Think about and do things that keep your body free from road blocks, your environment free of chaos and your mind open to new possibilities. Open equals freedom.
R: Real
If you’re concerned about whether you need it or not, ask yourself if it is real? Is it a real plant, is it real food, is it real beauty, does it “really” matter? If not, lose it.
G: Green
If it’s fresh and alive it’s probably green and probably good to put in your body or to have in your environment. You can’t go wrong with green, such a vibrant beautiful color.
A: Applicable
Does it have a purpose? Does it have a home? Does having this make sense in your life? If it simply takes up space and applies to nothing in your life, it’s time to say goodbye.
N: Need
Do you need this item? This is where things get tricky because people think they “need” a lot of things, when really a large portion of those things we have in our lives are indeed wants. Do you need this item to survive? Be real about this. It will help you cut down immensely.
I: Inspiration
Keeping things around that inspire you is essential to living a life with passion. Be inspired everyday and make a difference.
C: Clean
Is what you have around you clean? Is what you’re putting in your body clean? Is what you’re saying clean? Is what you’re doing clean? This word has a lot of meanings, and can serve as our reminder that clean usually equals good.
Goal Development – Make It Fun!
January 6, 2010 by admin
Filed under Tips for D.I.V.A.S
When is the last time you said to yourself, “Wouldn’t it be fun if _________ happened?” or ” Wouldn’t it be awesome if ___________?” Sure you have! The last time you did that,, did you make an effort to make it become a reality or did you talk yourself out of it and remind yourself of all the reasons it wouldn’t work or why it was just a silly idea? All successful doers know the power that comes from dreaming. The difference is they didn’t just dream about these things, they used their dream as fuel to make the reality happen.
This exercise is as simple as it sounds. Spend the next 10 minutes being creative and asking yourself the question above over and over or keep doing it until you run out of ideas. Tell yourself you’re going to make at least one come true. The fun part is once you get started, you’ll be eager to make more than one come true. For example, “Wouldn’t it be fun if I hosted a slumber party?” Who cares if your 35, do it anyway. “Wouldn’t it be fun if I painted the bathroom a totally different color? Wouldn’t it be fun if I surprised my man at work and took him to dinner? Wouldn’t it be cool if I hosted a party and everyone brought a bag of food to donate to the shelter? Wouldn’t it be fun to save up for 6 months and go to Mexico?” You get the picture.
We need to allot ourselves daily time to tap into that inner child to dream and have FUN. It’s crucial for the survival of the soul. We need to ask our brains to deliver instead of hoping something good will just come to us. The dreaming part is fun, but that’s when the energy and enthusiasm subsides for most people, because then comes hard work and finding the time or money to make dreams a reality. Always take yourself back to this list and remind yourself why you thought these things would be FUN. The hard work won’t seem like an issue at all.
Organizing: 5 Traps to Avoid
December 18, 2009 by admin
Filed under Tips for D.I.V.A.S
How many times have you had good intentions to get organized and somehow someway it doesn’t get done? Good intentions get us where??… NOWHERE. If you don’t anticipate these potential traps you will quickly get derailed from your overall goal.
Distraction: Think about the many things that distract us during our day. Phone/ email/ pagers/ TV/ kids/ friends/ etc. It is easy to get sidetracked and say you’ll get to something later if something “appears” to be more important at the time. Don’t get sucked in.
Multitasking: Multitasking sounds so efficient huh? Nope. It’s different from distraction because you’re telling yourself you’re being productive when you really aren’t. If you think you multitask and on top of that think you do it well, I beg to differ. Multitasking is the death of good solid work. Commit to doing things well and going full force in whatever you do.
Emotions: It’s inevitable you will run into things that spark a memory or feeling in you when organizing things in your work or home space. Be prepared for this journey to evoke some powerful memories and emotions. This is natural and okay. However, if you let it consume you in the process the job never gets completed. Recognize the emotion, but don’t express it at that moment. Set key items aside that do this to you and study and react to them later.
Overwhelm: Have you ever started a project and soon after thought, “what have I gotten myself into?” Embarking on a huge project can be stressful and often are jobs that folks don’t volunteer to do for this reason. Just remember… “no pain no gain” and usually the best progress is made in small steps and very often worth it in every way.
Lack of Planning: Without planning and preparation for potential traps and obstacles in the organization process it will likely fail in front of your eyes. Not preparing for these traps can cause feelings of failure, confusion, and inadequacy. It’s not fair to you to go through that when a simple strategy session can be done ahead of time to keep you on track.
Journaling: Document Your Life
December 18, 2009 by admin
Filed under Tips for D.I.V.A.S
Have you experienced something special recently and thought to yourself “I’ll never forget this moment”? Are there moments in your life you wish you could remember better but the memory is starting to fade? Many of us go through life without ever recording one word of how we feel about it other than in an email or in talking about it out loud when reminiscing every so often. This is a tragedy.
We have this idea that special moments come along every now and then, when someone has a baby or when someone gets married. These are indeed special events, and those who journal, might make an effort to sit down specifically to reflect on big events. However, these are certainly not the only opportunities for reflection. Learning, creating, believing, experiencing, growing happens everyday. We are missing opportunities left and right to document the times of our lives. We are missing moments every day that are chalked up as “everyday stuff”. Look a little deeper and you’ll realize those “everyday moments” are what have shaped you into who you are today. You will not want to forget them.
I invite you today to think of really engaging in your life and actively making an effort to remember it. People often think journaling has to be so profound, deep, insightful or possibly even lengthy. This is so not the case my friends. Journaling can be a way to document your thoughts feelings and behaviors around your day to day life. There’s no better way to get to know yourself and discover what things stand out to you. There’s no better way to discover who you are. Start with the commitment to just start jotting things down and see what happens.
You may have heard of a gratitude journal. Some folks say simply doing a gratitude journal has been life changing by focusing solely on the positive things to be thankful for each day. I agree with this strategy and believe strongly whatever you’re grateful for should be included, but also believe in keeping one space where you write everything to keep it simple. If you don’t want to just sit down and list 5 things your thankful for that day, don’t. Write about what things you noticed, what funny thought you had, what stupid idea ran through your mind, what frustrated you that day, what got you thinking. The options are endless. Just write. Assuming you’ll remember all the details later is unfortunately not true.
Simplify: Be okay with saying “NO”
December 18, 2009 by admin
Filed under Tips for D.I.V.A.S
Do you struggle to say no when someone asks you for a favor? Do you feel obligated to do many of the things you’re doing in your life? Do you resent it when you’ve done for someone and they don’t do back for you? This vicious cycle is one many women get into because they fear something bad will happen if they say no. Some of the worst case scenarios I hear are: “they’ll be mad at me”, “If I don’t, I’m not being a good friend”, “That would be rude.” Well, those things are not even true when communication is effective, but the bottom line is you’re being rude to yourself if you’re doing things out of guilt or obligation.
The world needs positive role models for self care more than the people in your life need a favor done here and there. I found when I started saying no because it wasn’t right for me at the time, I was offered more opportunities later that were a much better fit for me. I found when I was honest with people they were more honest with me. It was a win win.
Commit today to not saying yes because you think you have to. Commit today to being a beacon of light that people are drawn to because you’re well rested, you’re energetic, and you’re excited about your life. People should not be mad at you if you’re honest about wanting to respect your own personal limits. They may be disappointed that they couldn’t pawn that job off on you, but they will move on, and likely respect you more for it in the end.
This isn’t to say don’t do things for people and walk around with a snotty look on your face. Heck no! This is about giving your time and money and anything else you have to give on your terms. You won’t expect things in return and you will relish in the joy of giving as it’s meant to be. Giving is not supposed to be an obligation. Giving is not supposed to be a duty. Say yes when you can and if you want to. Offer when you’re not even asked. If you must decline do so with respect and don’t feel “obligated” to give excuses. Everyone knows they are excuses and you risk sending the message “hey, I don’t have a backbone.” When in doubt, be honest, polite, and trust your gut.
