Let’s learn from George Clooney
Watching Up in the Air, I knew the overall concept of the movie and was interested in watching it, but didn’t think it would touch me personally per se. The basic premise of the movie is that George Clooney is hired by companies to fire employees for them. While George was talking to his young technology savvy recently hired protégé, he processed with her the reason this service needs to be provided face to face. As she accompanied him to his next assignment, she began to see the special touch that could be provided in person as opposed to doing this over the internet as she proposed to the owner of the company for whom George Clooney worked. Although, isolated and disconnected from his own family, George appeared to have a special touch for those going through this crisis and was able to help one of his soon to be unemployed victims see how he sold out years prior and never actually pursued his dreams. The conversation went something like this:
The gentleman began to discuss all the negative affects from this job loss including not being able to pay for his daughter’s medication, not having the respect of his children etc.
George inquired: “So your children’s admiration is important to you?”
Bob states back: “yeah, it was”
George replies: “I doubt they ever admired you bob”
Bob: “Hey Asshole, aren’t you supposed to be consoling me”
George: “I’m not a shrink Bob, I’m a wake up call, You know why kids love athletes?”
Bob: “Because they screw lingerie models”
George: “No, that’s why WE love athletes, kids love athletes because they follow their dreams.”
Bob: “Well I can’t dunk”
George: “No but you can cook, your resume says you minored in French culinary arts.
How much did they first pay you to give up on your dreams?
Bob states some nominal amount like $25,000
George: When were you gonna stop and do what makes you happy”
Bob: “Good question”
George discussed with Bob seeing man after man working for companies with no ounce of happiness. Encouraging the man to see the lay off as a positive and stated “If you’re not going to make a change for you, do it for your kids.”
I found this so very powerful. Don’t we all need a little bit of a wake up call? We all hope it won’t come in the form of being fired, but for many that’s the reality. The question is, are you doing what you love? Are you giving back to the world in the way you want to? If the answers are no, then start figuring out how to make that happen. Unfortunately, our current economic crisis is a significant social problem and is far from over. We’ve grown to realize that corporate America isn’t making the commitment to protect people anymore. If you’re lucky enough to have job security now, that may not always be the case.
Think outside your box. Have a plan B. Make a commitment to ask questions about vocations/ hobbies that interest you. Start doing something small and see what happens. Consider other ways to make money and to contribute to things bigger than you. Google what it is you’re interested in and people who are doing just that are sure to pop up. Contact them and ask questions. People will be delighted you’re interested in what they do. You are your own best advocate. Get out there and tell me what you find out!
What matters to you?
So often people have that gnawing feeling they want more, but they don’t know what to do or where to start in order to get it. A couple years back, I went to an Oprah Live Event and had the opportunity to hear one of the featured speakers Martha Beck. She was normalizing with the audience that desire to have an impact on the world, or to have a better more fulfilling life, but not having a clue how to do it. I’ve used this strategy I’m about ready to mention with some that I’ve worked with to help shift the focus when finding your “life purpose” seems like an overwhelming daunting task. We’re all in the same boat there, where I personally don’t believe any of us should be seeking our “life purpose” as that is constantly evolving and changing and quite frankly may not be for us to know. However, each one of us can live on purpose and do something about things that matter to us.
As Martha continued her talk, she suggested to the audience to google various ideas and concepts together as a way to brainstorm. For example, she said google something you like to do or that you’re good at with something you want to change in the world and see what comes up. Now, in all honesty, I did this exercise and it didn’t yield me a ton of results, however, it may be different for you with your various passions talents and abilities, and how long you’re willing to google I suppose. But what it did do for me was inspire me to think more about how to incorporate my talents with what I’m passionate about and as a way to participate in the change I want to see in the world. Simply stated, it helped me take the focus off of me and onto what I care about. Big paradigm shift for me when struggling with not feeling worthy, good enough, or smart enough to create a business. Whoever might be struggling with those same thoughts and feelings would probably be more able to embrace their desire to participate in social change through business. It takes the scariness of business down a notch or two for most people.
This could go in many different directions and as you can imagine the options are limitless. So rather than getting stumped and stopping immediately when you’re considering what you’re good at and how in the world you could make money doing it, consider first, what you care about in the world and how can you use what God gave you to contribute to making that situation or issue better. Now selecting a cause or project of social change may be difficult as we know there are so many non profits out there vying for our money and time so which one do we choose? Well, the answer isn’t so simple for everyone and it may be where you want to spend a significant portion of your time doing some research.
Whether you’ve already got an established business or you are new in business you can learn from this paragraph, because as stated above we want our passion, mission vision to match up as much as possible, so if you’re a writer you may emphasize that you’re passionate about literacy. Or if you’re a fitness trainer you may be passionate about helping to make an impact on the childhood obesity epidemic. Not that a personal trainer can’t care about wildlife, but doesn’t it make her business platform so much stronger and compel you to want to hire her as a personal trainer because she is also helping to combat child obesity. Already you feel like you too are part of something bigger and more important than just buying that product or service for yourself. Start thinking big because you too can contribute to social change no matter where you’re at on your journey.
What comes naturally??
Okay Okay I know, my last post was a video as well. Well… I suppose that’s because that’s just how my brain thinks because music “comes naturally” to me. This will make more sense the more you read. Tonight while driving home from my mother’s day celebration I cranked up the tunes on the way home to keep me awake and I found myself dancing and singing to a song that really got my juices flowing. I used to get uncomfortable when I was doing this around other cars, but I found when I held back it usually ruined the song for me, cuz it never fails, people are always around when I really want to belt something out or throw my hands in the air. So I decided a while back even if I was in the middle of a groove or a note I just kept going no matter who was around. I invite you to do the same. We only get so many moments in life. Let’s not let anyone spoil anything for us!
So nevertheless, I heard this song on the way home and it got me thinking… initially when I heard the lyrics I thought it was going to be a cheesy love song, but I quickly learned it was much deeper than that. Yes, she’s referring to what comes naturally between them as young lovebirds, yet on a deeper level what really resonated with me was the reminder that we all intuitively deep down know what comes naturally to us and how attractive it is when someone hits that sweet spot in life knowing who they are and can express it as well.
I simply invite you to take a moment today to listen to this song and
#1 get your groove on if you’re feeling the tune
#2 think about what things come naturally to you.
A lyric in this song says “You know who you are and to me that’s exciting”. YES YES YES…. that is what’s exciting to all of us. Think about someone that you know that knows who they are, that’s comfortable in their own skin that oozes authenticity. Isn’t that exciting?? It is to me. Even if a person doesn’t know exactly, you can sense that excitement in those that are searching, and that’s just as exciting if not even more cuz the energy is so high. So if you don’t know what you want and can’t even begin to imagine how you’re going to get there, take a moment to consider first what comes naturally to you and how you may be able to use that in building the life of your dreams. Even if it’s the smallest thing, start with creating a list of things that come naturally to you and see what you come up with.
SELENA GOMEZ: Naturally video: Embedded disabled, go check it out on YOUTUBE and get back here !! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_YR4dKArgo
Share with us below what comes naturally to you!
Stand for Something
This week I was hearing this message loud and clear from some of my mentors in different forms, so I decided to share my “country music” version with you today. In learning what our passion or “purpose” is that so many of us long to find, we unfortunately tend to over think it and continue to find ourselves frustrated about what that “thing” is, and when we don’t find it we’re frustrated until the next time we go on our “life purpose” hunt.
Think about it a little differently this time. Think about it from the inside out for a moment. Think about it, we are usually looking for so many of our answers outside of ourselves, but more often than not the answers are within us. I’m not trying to be cheesy here, I recently learned this lesson after fighting it for so long, and I want you to learn it quicker than I did. Just hang with me for a second.
Okay okay, I know, you don’t know what your answers are that’s why you’re looking outside yourself to get ideas. Unfortunately, the answers that we can get from the outside are “HOW” things. How to do this, how to do that, education or knowledge that we don’t have. But our “WHY” before we even begin to look at the “HOW” needs to come from within us. No one can give us our “WHY”.
Let me give an example. Instead of asking yourself what you’re passionate about, ask yourself what matters to you and/or what your values are. Passion is such a loaded word and can be such overkill sometimes. It’s associated with highly emotionally or sexually charged situations, circumstances and events and sometimes we just don’t have that fire inside of us on a daily basis so we think we’re missing something we need to go look for. That’s really not the goal. Guess what, you don’t have to find that “passion” you can start with what matters to you and build from there.
You innately know what matters or is important to you whether that’s the environment, animals, freedom, education, appreciation, health, simplicity, organization, belonging, compassion, forgiveness, etc. You get the picture. I’ll give a personal example, unfortunately or fortunately (depending on how you look at it) for me freedom matters to me more than fitness and it shows. (ok, yes I’m sensitive about my weight right now, but I’m working on that) but in all seriousness, I can get completely lost in creating personal and financial freedom for myself and my passion to help you do the same, but when it comes to some other areas they are slacking. That’s the way it goes, we’re not superhuman, which is why it is so important to have so many people in the world with various passions/aka values so we can learn from each other, grow and evolve together throughout our journeys.
Okay, next argument I hear. “Well, so and so already is passionate about that topic, they do it better than I do”, and BLAH BLAH BLAH. Well, I believed that for a long time too, but then when people repeatedly told me there wasn’t a Laurie Knight version of it yet, that resonated with me. So much of my message is about being authentic, that immediately I knew I needed to walk my talk and put my authentic version of my “why” out there even though it overlapped with what some other people are doing. It’s amazing once I took on that perspective, I no longer viewed people as competition, but more as partners with similar passions. Wow… talk about a-ha moment.
Okay, so watch the video and begin to jot down the things that you value. Jot down the things that you stand for and document circumstances where you would consistently respond the same way. You’ll begin to find some answers and slowly but surely you’ll start to connect with that knowing part of yourself.
In this day of information overload, it’s easy to convince ourselves that we don’t have our own answers and that everyone knows how to do it better than we do. In certain cases that may be true. This isn’t about being oblivious and lying to yourself that you know everything there is to know, it’s about being authentic and tapping into that part of you that does know you too have something to contribute to the world.
So, what do you stand for? Would love to see your own list or comments!
Are you Present?
This weekend I was reading the book “Awaken the Genie Within” by Linda Salzar. Her book is really clear in regards to how we can learn to slow down and tap into our inner wisdom, improve our relationships and connect spiritually at a deeper level. These are topics I’m very passionate about sharing with you. I’ll be interviewing her for the authenticity series coming up so stay tuned, but wanted to mention one part of her book here today in a quick message to you now. She talks about recognizing how we operate in conversations with other people. Are you really present in the moment listening and absorbing what people are saying or are you just waiting for your turn to talk or defend yourself if you’re getting feedback. Or are you so preoccupied you’re missing moments with people in your life?
Before I ever started to explore these concepts professionally in my own life, I knew this was something I needed to resolve with one of my best friends. I remember one time in our 20s, my friend was struggling more and more being present in the current moment. I would come to town and we would talk about when we were going to meet and what we were going to do, we’d set the time and I looked forward to it. I could always sense she was distracted and not really present during our time together. I remember after noticing it on several occasions I finally said to her, “you’re not with me anymore, what’s going on”.
She wasn’t defensive at all and almost appeared relieved to not have to put up the façade anymore. She simply said “you’re right I’m distracted” and she started to come alive. She began to talk more authentically and deep about her personal struggles in her marriage and her life trying to please everyone. She said “I’m tired”. I supported her and we had one of the best conversations we had had in a long time. She discussed with me how she wanted to be more engaged but didn’t know how due to overwhelm. We looked at her schedule and eliminated the “shoulds” for the time being and agreed she wouldn’t spend time with people or do things for people unless she absolutely wanted to. After our discussion that day our relationship has been different ever since. She has never been more present and engaged in our relationship and I would assume it’s that way with everyone else she is connected with as well. She mentioned to me had I not brought it to her attention she may not have gone out of her way to fix it and likely would have continued to ruminate in her head. Sometimes our head is a scary place to hang out!
Work on being in the moment every chance you get, and communicate your feelings to those in your life in the moment rather than hanging on to whatever it is you may be hanging on to. It may be your very opportunity to get closer. Don’t do things out of obligation it will rob you of your spirit and energy. Life is short, have a blast and speak up!
Have a point of view
Not too long ago, I was watching the movie The Ugly Truth. Parts of it were just okay, yet other parts were quite refreshing to be honest. The story is about a young woman who is a TV producer and she is in charge of a show that’s slowly but surely losing ratings and is at risk for being removed from the network. Her boss introduces the idea of bringing in this hot shot male reporter guy who is quite opinionated, sarcastic, and brash, which the boss thought would be sure to raise the ratings even if it raised a few eyebrows from the viewers.
The young producer struggled to see the significance of this and fought the addition of this guy thinking it would be too much for the audience, yet she was forced to go out of her comfort zone and consider that something separate from what they had been doing could potentially be entertaining. When she had the conversation with her boss about how this could even possibly be seen as a positive he responded with “at least he has a point of view”. She was offended by this, and ultimately changed her tune by the end of the movie (of course… he was hot… hello). I could go on about the nuances of the movie, but what struck me was when the boss emphasized the importance of a point of view.
I encourage you to consider what this might mean for you. People will often say they don’t speak up in an effort to keep the peace or to please those around them. Yet, who is that really serving? I’m not suggesting you create drama or offend folks, however I do think there is something to be said for expressing your thoughts and feelings authentically in an effort to be at peace internally and to provide benefit to those around you. When you speak up it makes people around you think. This is what makes exchanges more interesting and effective.
You have a mind and a voice so use them. If you think something is wrong speak up. If you think something could be better do something about it. If you like something, let people know. Don’t just be a bystander in life, neutral in your environment or just go with the flow. Figure out where you stand on things and have healthy discussions with those around you and make this a habit in your life.
This is how change occurs. This is how confidence is built. This is how your voice is found. This does not involve brash, rude or those so called brutally honest remarks that are in most cases absolutely unnecessary. These choices will likely drive people further from you. One must be open to learning from the experience of speaking up and being able to take feedback appropriately as well. This is information that helps us to discover more quickly who it is we are supposed to be and to be in a position to better establish our values. It’s amazing when thoughts are just in your head they don’t have the same impact as when they come out of your mouth. They are safe in your head. Be brave and speak up!
What’s your point of view? Feel free to leave a comment on this post and practice it here! Anything you have a point of view about…. let er rip!
Be Clueless
Are you someone that needs to be “in the know”? Are you someone who is obsessed with knowing everything that is going on in the world? If so, I invite you to take a journey with me today and consider what life may be like otherwise.
Being so involved and interested in what is going on in the world and in everyone else’s life may be keeping you from living yours. In addition, this habit may also be keeping you from your passion. If you’re someone who is searching or wanting more in life, consider turning off the TV.
As a therapist working with adolescents for years, our staff would always tell the kids to “mind their own business” then another part of their day was spent watching “current events”, which to me was exactly the opposite of minding your own business. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m aware some of the stories can keep us safe, inform us about something helpful, but unfortunately it’s normally about who died, who was robbed, who was hurt, etc. I could never see what benefit it brought me so I’ve avoided the news most of my life. It drives my mother crazy.
For years, I kept this little secret to myself for fear I would look “clueless”. However, I learned over time, people could care less if I knew what was going on, they were so wrapped up in everything they were talking/ gossiping about. I would hear people talk amongst each other about “did you see this, or did you see that” and I learned to use that as my source for news. I figured if the world was coming to an end someone would let me know. I am normally notified by my mother when tornados and natural disasters are heading my way and am informed who the presidential candidates are. That’s all I really need. Okay, maybe that sounds a little extreme, but it’s not far from the truth I’m proud to say.
Whether you’re a news junkie or reality TV addict (I’m this on occasion too: American Idol/ The Apprentice always on DVR however) consider what value these TV shows are bringing to your life. Whether or not you’re willing to give up the news or TV all together, this blog is mostly to bring awareness to you about how you spend your time and making sure you’re doing so consciously. Are these things you’re doing because they really bring you value, make you feel good, or are they activities that you do out of habit? Take a close look at your life and remember that we only get one shot here and we must spend our time wisely. If you’re going to watch something LOVE IT. Otherwise, do something else you truly enjoy more or simply enjoy more moments in silence. Take the pledge today: Be Clueless!
Victims are Out, Divas are in!
Complaining is so yesterday. Whining is so 2009. Aren’t you tired of doing it or being around it already? Me too! It’s exhausting. It’s 2010 and it’s time to be in control of how you feel or what happens in your life. It can be such a powerful transformation to simply remove just this one thing from your daily habits.
It’s possible to feel like a new person if you eliminate what I call victim language. Being a victim can be perceived as weak or lazy. However, in my opinion, being a victim is actually a lot more trouble than it’s worth and uses quite a bit more energy in the long run than it does to be positive. Being so consumed with negativity, making excuses, finding reasons why things won’t work, or seeking justice is a lot of hard work! Let it go.
Deciding to be a D.I.V.A. says to those around you that you are D: Determined to do whatever it is you set your mind to. Being a D.I.V.A. shows others you are I: Innovative and able to create solutions to your problems and that you’ll be stopped by nothing. Being a D.I.V.A. oozes V: Vivacious energy for all the world to see. You’re unstoppable with boundless enthusiasm and resources to make your life all that you want it to be. Being a D.I.V.A. means you are an A: Achiever who makes things happen and takes things to the next level. You settle for nothing and you create a life on your terms and you aren’t really concerned with what isn’t going well, why it can’t be, or what’s not fair. There’s no time to complain as a DIVA.
So what’s the verdict? Are you a Victim or a D.I.V.A.? Share your comments below!! How are you going to exude DIVA today?
Find your Butterflies
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Butterflies Pictures
The feeling of butterflies in the stomach, it’s a love hate relationship. You love the rush it gives you, but there is also that desire to be cozy in that safe comfort zone and you hate the idea of leaving it. Usually butterflies appear when something big is happening. Having butterflies means it matters.
Having butterflies is an important part to living with passion and purpose. So often I’m told, “nothing really gives me butterflies” or “I don’t get excited about anything”. My answer to that is, it is your job to get butterflies about finding butterflies if that is where you are. Be excited about getting excited if that’s all you have right now. Be excited someone reminded you having butterflies is an important part of life and you want to find some. Do you really want to go through life without having any butterflies? Once you find your butterflies, no one will be able to take them from you, which is a natural high that will drive you to find more of them. Imagine your energy and enthusiasm causing that same experience in other people, which is a very powerful thing to share.
You know what I’m talking about. You see someone that is excited and passionate about something and it stirs up something in you whether that is curiosity, interest, or desire to have “that” for yourself. If you have stagnant internal activity, that’s exactly what you’ll get more of in your life. Don’t be bored. Get butterflies.
Organize: Give me 5 minutes
When you walk into any room of your home or office what do you see? Chaos, clutter, a mess, dust, junk, or do you see peace, joy, cozy, fun, and clean? I could use many more adjectives, but the point is to get you thinking about what you see now and what you want to see.
I want you to take 5 minutes right now, in whatever space you’re in and look at specific objects throughout the room. Are they things you really appreciate, enjoy, and use or are they things just taking up space or something someone else could use more than you at this point. Now granted, I have a fairly organized space because this is something I’m passionate about, however, things creep up on all of us everyday and can be overwhelming before we know it. I’ll give you an example of a few things I just addressed in the last few minutes.
I looked around my office and for the most part I saw what I wanted to see a peaceful cozy space. However, I realized a few things on my bulletin board were not really inspiring me, I had a business card holder that I never use filled with business cards it’s just sitting there collecting dust, and several motivational pictures that were sitting on my desk that I used to enjoy, but just looking around the room with this intention made me realize, I’m ready for something fresh.
So in just a few minutes I rearranged my bulletin board to have things on it that inspire me more, I ditched the business card holder, I put those very cute pictures with motivational sayings in a box that I have in a designated spot for future white elephant or give away box that I’ll take to good will. Sometimes things I don’t want I just put by the curb and they are gone in a flash. Try it sometime. People will take your stuff!
Wow, I feel lighter and more inspired in just 5 minutes. I’m looking at new things and I’m already thinking of what else is in my way that I can toss out so freely and know that I’m not wasting resources. I know that I’m the most important resource and with distractions and clutter I’m not my best. So no matter what material item you’re throwing out, it’s not worth what you can feel inside without it if it’s not appropriately serving you.
