Are you Present?
This weekend I was reading the book “Awaken the Genie Within” by Linda Salzar. Her book is really clear in regards to how we can learn to slow down and tap into our inner wisdom, improve our relationships and connect spiritually at a deeper level. These are topics I’m very passionate about sharing with you. I’ll be interviewing her for the authenticity series coming up so stay tuned, but wanted to mention one part of her book here today in a quick message to you now. She talks about recognizing how we operate in conversations with other people. Are you really present in the moment listening and absorbing what people are saying or are you just waiting for your turn to talk or defend yourself if you’re getting feedback. Or are you so preoccupied you’re missing moments with people in your life?
Before I ever started to explore these concepts professionally in my own life, I knew this was something I needed to resolve with one of my best friends. I remember one time in our 20s, my friend was struggling more and more being present in the current moment. I would come to town and we would talk about when we were going to meet and what we were going to do, we’d set the time and I looked forward to it. I could always sense she was distracted and not really present during our time together. I remember after noticing it on several occasions I finally said to her, “you’re not with me anymore, what’s going on”.
She wasn’t defensive at all and almost appeared relieved to not have to put up the façade anymore. She simply said “you’re right I’m distracted” and she started to come alive. She began to talk more authentically and deep about her personal struggles in her marriage and her life trying to please everyone. She said “I’m tired”. I supported her and we had one of the best conversations we had had in a long time. She discussed with me how she wanted to be more engaged but didn’t know how due to overwhelm. We looked at her schedule and eliminated the “shoulds” for the time being and agreed she wouldn’t spend time with people or do things for people unless she absolutely wanted to. After our discussion that day our relationship has been different ever since. She has never been more present and engaged in our relationship and I would assume it’s that way with everyone else she is connected with as well. She mentioned to me had I not brought it to her attention she may not have gone out of her way to fix it and likely would have continued to ruminate in her head. Sometimes our head is a scary place to hang out!
Work on being in the moment every chance you get, and communicate your feelings to those in your life in the moment rather than hanging on to whatever it is you may be hanging on to. It may be your very opportunity to get closer. Don’t do things out of obligation it will rob you of your spirit and energy. Life is short, have a blast and speak up!
